Being There


An Oldie, but a Goodie.

A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before to which the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, “Give it a shot father”. After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says “Whoa, what a big son-of-a-bitch!”

The Priest says, “Uh, please sir, can you mind your language?” The Fisherman responds (THINKING QUICKLY), “I’m sorry Father, but that’s what this fish is called - a son-of-a-bitch!”

"Oh, I’m sorry", replied the Priest. "I didn’t know." After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the Bishop. "Eminence, look at this big son-of-a-bitch!"

"Please Father", said the Bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."

"No, you don’t understand", said the Priest. "That’s what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this son-of-a-bitch!"

"Hmmm", said the Bishop. "You know, I could clean this son-of-a-bitch and we could have it for dinner." So the Bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent. "Mother Superior could you cook this son-of-a-bitch for dinner tonight?"

"My lord, what language!", said the Mother Superior.

"No, Sister", said the Bishop. "That’s what the fish is called - a son-of-a-bitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we’d like you to cook it."

"Hmmm", replied Mother Superior. "Yes, I’ll cook that son-of-a-bitch tonight." Well, the Pope stops by for dinner with the three of them, and they all think the fish is great. He asks where they got it. "I caught the son-of-a-bitch!", said the Priest.

"And I cleaned the son-of-a-bitch!", said the Bishop.

"And I cooked the son-of-a-bitch!", said the Mother Superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, “You know, you fuckers are alright”.

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